Some People Find me Difficult to Deal with.

I went to a workshop last week where a colleague of mine told me I was complicated. Another told me I was guarded. I know I’m guarded. I’m not sure about complicated. I’m not sure I know what he meant. Perhaps he meant snarky. My snarkiness can be off-putting to people if they don’t know me (or even if they do.) I do try to contain it, especially in professional settings, but sometimes, I just can’t help myself.

For instance, when an inebriated, twenty-something guy from the workshop got in my face and said, “Hey you! You’re the one that yelled at me!” I thought about being polite. After all, I had no memory of ever meeting this kid, let alone yelling at him. But it was two in the morning, I was tired, and he was drunk. So what did I—the older, wiser, supposedly more mature and professional of the two of us—say?

“You probably deserved it.”

And I wonder why people find me difficult to deal with.

Surprise

I had a meeting this weekend. I expected it to be long. I expected people to talk down to me. I expected to have to fight for things I wanted. But none of my expectations were met. The meeting went surprisingly well.

Until we were told we would most likely lose our funding.

What does this mean?

I’m out of a job.

Surprise!

Life Sucks:

Last week:

Sick for four days.
No hot water for three.
Dog fight at seven a.m., outside in the snow, minus four degrees.
Dog bite...left thumb currently too swollen to move and definitely infected.

This week:

A trip to the doctor to get antibiotics and, unless I lie, a visit from the police to interrogate me about whose dog bit me.

Did I mention life sucks?

Training Days: Wildlife Biologist aren’t known for their people skills

Shortly after being hired by “Charismatic Guy” and “Not So Much,” I was teamed with Not So Much, a man of few words. I’d spent several long days with him. In silence. Him hiking through the woods like a gazelle. Me running and tripping over everything, trying to keep up with him. Occasionally, I tried to strike up a conversation, but he always managed to answer my questions in curt one to three word phrases. One day, after a ten-hours of hell, I decided to, once again, see if I could get the guy to talk.

“Do you have any siblings?” I asked, thinking maybe he’d tell me something about himself if I asked about his family.

“Yep.”

“Brothers or sisters?”

“Brothers.”

“How many?”

“Two.”

“Older or younger?”

“Older.”

Not known for my patience or my ability to keep my mouth shut, I snapped. “You know what? I’m done. Talking to you is worse than talking to a wall. If you decide you want to talk to me then fine, but as of this moment, I’m done trying to force you to talk!” I closed my eyes and set my head against the window of the passenger-side door, preparing myself for a summer of hell.

“So…” said Not So Much, a hint of amusement and respect in his voice.

I opened my eyes, catching the almost smile at the corners of his mouth.

“What do your parents do?”

We all do Stupid Shit when Exhausted:

My friend J is not the only one who does stupid shit with bears. One week I was stupid enough to try quitting coffee. I did it because my boss made fun of me for drinking too much. My first caffeine-free morning, I medicated a bear. The wrong one. The second morning, I opened a door to a bear pen...without kicking the bear out first. The third morning?

My boss gave me a gift card to Starbucks.

Exhausted.

Exhausted people do stupid shit. Problem is when you work with bears, stupid shit turns into dangerous shit...or spectacularly stupid shit. For example, my friend J was so tired last week, she darted the wrong bear for her research. Silly J.

This week, I’m too exhausted to write more than this.

Just Call me Clueless:

Some people are good managers. Some not so much. Where do I sit on the spectrum? I’ll let you decide.

Last week, I had to let a worker know his performance wasn’t good enough. I kept our talk short and to the point and was amazed when his work and attitude turned around. Everyone else noticed it, too! He went from being a total dud to a stud. The next day, he was equally as good. Everyone was impressed. And I patted myself on the back for being a good manager and getting the point across in a motivating way. Later that day, I mentioned to a friend that this worker had improved immensely. I figured she’d like to know because she recommended him for the job.

She laughed and said, “I told his girlfriend he was going to get fired if he didn’t turn it around. She told him if he got fired he had exactly one week to find another job or she was leaving him.”

So much for my great management skills.