I can only be nice for so long. So back to the snark with yet another story about a wonderful wildlife technician. The first year of this project, I hired three technicians. Two were awesome; one provided me enough stories to write a book, or at least supply material for a few blog posts. Our first meeting went something like this:
My crew leader and I were in our office when someone announced, “Dick has arrived.” (No, Dick is not his real name, but it should be, and yes, he really did announce his presence in this way.) My crew leader and I looked at each other—trying not to laugh or roll our eyes, because we were professionals—then turned toward the door to greet our new tech, Dick.
It was hard to hide my shock, and honestly, I’m not sure I did. Standing in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb with ankles and arms crossed was a pouty, five-foot-five elf, wearing designer jeans, shiny leather shoes and a pointy fleece hat. He was bejeweled with silver rings on both hands and his face was covered with a Travelocity Gnome-like beard.
I’d like to say I didn’t judge him on the spot, but anyone who knows me knows that would be a bald-faced lie. Unfairly, I had a picture of this kid in my head when I hired him. He was six feet, burly, wore Carhartts and flannel. In my mind, he was a mountain man. But when I saw him, I couldn’t help but think I’d hired a kid who wasn’t sure if he belonged on MTV or in the woods. His confusion had the unfortunate outcome of making him resemble a gnome...one having an identity crisis.
I admit it. I had a slight panic attack, right there in the office. My gut told me I’d made a mistake, but it was too late. Then I chided myself for not giving him a chance. It was unfair to judge him in the first ten seconds of meeting him. But a nagging voice in the back of my mind kept saying, “Your gut is never wrong. Don’t fight the gut.” But I had to, so I slapped a smile on my face and forged ahead.
Straight into a brick wall I like to call hell.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Hey Bear!
Taking a break from my snarky self to tell a story that made me laugh…in a good way.
Lesson of the day: If you encounter a bear in the woods, stay calm. Don’t panic and don’t run. Remember ninety-nine percent of the time it’s more afraid of you than you are of it. I spend so much time with people who are comfortable with wildlife encounters that I forget many, if not most, are NOT comfortable with them.
A few days ago, I was on a mountain bike ride with a group of friends. The second person to come down the hill, I heard something crashing through the brush on the bank above so I stopped. The bushes above me were moving, and I realized, whatever we had spooked was coming toward us.
This has happened to me before. I’m walking through the woods and spook an animal. Most of the time the animal runs away, but sometimes it runs at me. Not because it’s attacking. Because it was sleeping, heard something scary, and started running.
I figured that’s what happened with this animal. So I stopped and yelled, “Hey bear!” I didn’t know if it was a bear. “Hey bear” is simply something to say to alert whatever is running toward you that you’re there.
My friend in the lead had also stopped, but she didn’t stand still. I have never in my life seen a woman get off a bike so fast and run backward with bike in hand like a shield. With one eye on her and the other on the bank above, I smiled…because I knew exactly what she was doing.
I watched a little black bear jump off the bank and onto the trail in front of us, running as fast as its little legs could carry it...AWAY from us. The bear was terrified.
A few moments later, after everyone calmed down, my friend confessed her thought process. She said, “I knew it was a bear so I thought I’d put you, the bear biologist, between me and the bear, because you’d know what to do.” True, but still, it made me laugh and realize that the true lesson of the day was this: when hiking or biking in the woods, always bring someone slower than you, because you don’t need to outrun the bear. You need to outrun your friend.
Cheers,
TSWB
Lesson of the day: If you encounter a bear in the woods, stay calm. Don’t panic and don’t run. Remember ninety-nine percent of the time it’s more afraid of you than you are of it. I spend so much time with people who are comfortable with wildlife encounters that I forget many, if not most, are NOT comfortable with them.
A few days ago, I was on a mountain bike ride with a group of friends. The second person to come down the hill, I heard something crashing through the brush on the bank above so I stopped. The bushes above me were moving, and I realized, whatever we had spooked was coming toward us.
This has happened to me before. I’m walking through the woods and spook an animal. Most of the time the animal runs away, but sometimes it runs at me. Not because it’s attacking. Because it was sleeping, heard something scary, and started running.
I figured that’s what happened with this animal. So I stopped and yelled, “Hey bear!” I didn’t know if it was a bear. “Hey bear” is simply something to say to alert whatever is running toward you that you’re there.
My friend in the lead had also stopped, but she didn’t stand still. I have never in my life seen a woman get off a bike so fast and run backward with bike in hand like a shield. With one eye on her and the other on the bank above, I smiled…because I knew exactly what she was doing.
I watched a little black bear jump off the bank and onto the trail in front of us, running as fast as its little legs could carry it...AWAY from us. The bear was terrified.
A few moments later, after everyone calmed down, my friend confessed her thought process. She said, “I knew it was a bear so I thought I’d put you, the bear biologist, between me and the bear, because you’d know what to do.” True, but still, it made me laugh and realize that the true lesson of the day was this: when hiking or biking in the woods, always bring someone slower than you, because you don’t need to outrun the bear. You need to outrun your friend.
Cheers,
TSWB
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)