Last year I fired a kid for reckless driving. Or rather that was Rock Star’s final straw. Joe Public had called into the office to complain about him. I’d had it. So I let him go.
With that said, most of the time it’s Joe Public who drives like an idiot. I know this, so I instruct my crew to drive defensively. We’ve had many close calls with people on four wheelers. Seriously, people! You’re on four wheelers! With your two-year-old. Next to you is your five-year-old who’s driving his very own four wheeler. Where is the big bad truck supposed to go when you and your kids are taking up the whole road? Never mind none of you have on helmets and ninety percent of you are drunk and you’re all driving fast. Too fast!
Lucky for you, we have several helicopter landing sites in the area so you and/or your child can be life-flighted out when you hit the truck (‘Cause let’s face facts. The truck’s gonna win). Too bad there’s no cell phone reception.
I’ve had many encounters with drunken idiots on Quads, but one incident stands out. I was done with field work for the week and heading home. I’d just left my crew, turned on the radio and settled in for the five hour drive. Thirty seconds down the road, I heard something. Not sure what it was, I turned down the radio and listened. Still not sure, I pulled my foot off the gas. Good thing because as I rounded a bend in the road, two four wheelers (driven by men in their sixties) came whizzing at me. Of course, they were side by side…and racing. I slammed on my brakes and turned my wheel so my truck would hit the bank and not the guy heading straight for me. I don’t know how I didn’t hit him. I don’t know how he didn’t end up a hood ornament. By the time we both stopped, there were only inches between our vehicles. And I could see the fear in his eyes.
He stands out because he was the only person to ever stop and thank me for being a good driver. He admitted he and his buddy had been racing. He was profusely apologetic and grateful. Very grateful.
Now if we could only get the other idiots out there to understand…or, better yet, stop reproducing.
