This is a blog. This is NOT peer-reviewed. This is not science. The stories I tell are mine. For those of you who don't understand: These stories are told from my point of view. They are my opinion and only that. They are my memories, however I choose to remember and/or embellish them. The resemblance of characters in my stories to anyone in my life is not completely unintentional, however, I strive to protect their identities; because seriously, the shit they do and say is humiliating and stupid.

Oh...I'm telling these stories because my therapist thinks it'll help my mental and emotional well-being.

Monday, November 21, 2011

BIOLOGISTS WHO STUDY ANIMALS THAT CAN EAT THEM REALLY SHOULD BE SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR.

But many times, we're not. We just get lucky.

A friend of mine recently told me a story about one of his less than stellar moments. In this story he was trying to collar a cougar, therefore I have dubbed him Cougar Hunter.

After Cougar Hunter had successfully treed (meaning hounds had chased the cougar until the cougar climbed a tree) the cougar and darted it, he proceeded to climb the tree so he could pull the soon to be sleeping cat to the ground. But the cat didn’t fall asleep. It climbed higher. And so did Cougar Hunter. Which made the cat climb higher yet. Before Cougar Hunter knew it, he and the cat were 75 feet up an 85-foot-high tree…swaying in the wind.

Not too bright.

To make matters worse, the cat never fell asleep and Cougar Hunter had to abort his mission. But he learned a valuable lesson: Before climbing a tree after an animal that can eat you, check the dart with binoculars to ensure the drug actually administered.