This is a blog. This is NOT peer-reviewed. This is not science. The stories I tell are mine. For those of you who don't understand: These stories are told from my point of view. They are my opinion and only that. They are my memories, however I choose to remember and/or embellish them. The resemblance of characters in my stories to anyone in my life is not completely unintentional, however, I strive to protect their identities; because seriously, the shit they do and say is humiliating and stupid.

Oh...I'm telling these stories because my therapist thinks it'll help my mental and emotional well-being.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

My Mother Wishes I Was A Botanist

Although she’s proud of what I do, I know my mother wishes I studied something smaller and a lot less carnivorous. Like bunnies. Or apples. While working, I've often found myself shaking my head, glad my mother wasn't around to see something. One particular day stands out to me because it was the first time I thought it on this project.

I was crashing through a tangle of bushes taller than me. The only time I could see over them was when I stood on a fallen tree or stump. I didn’t think much of it when I heard the brush crack somewhere down the slope and to my left. I figured I’d spooked something. But as the cracking got louder and closer, I thought maybe I should check things out.

Pretty sure it was a deer, I jumped on a stump and stood on my tiptoes. When I caught the undulating movement of a dark brown back, I knew it wasn’t a deer. It was a bear. And it was heading straight for me.

So what did I do?

I yelled, “Hey bear!” and stuck my arms in the air so it could see me. Instantly, the crashing noise stopped. A second later, two brown ears popped up. They weren’t more than ten feet away. Then they disappeared and the crashing started again. But this time in the opposite direction.

I sighed, yelled down the hill at my techs to let them know a bear might be coming their way, then smiled. That was the first bear I’d seen that year. Granted I only saw his back and his ears, but it was pretty cool. Then I laughed, and thought, “Thank God my mother wasn’t here to see this.”