Okay, so they’re not that bad. Actually, they’re quite cute, but sometimes, the males can be real assholes. I was working at a zoo and feeding one such male. As I was feeding him, he climbed out of his tree and came after me. I looked at him and thought, “Are you kidding me? I’ve worked with grizzlies and porcupines and killer caribou! You don’t scare me!” But as he kept waddling after me (koalas are not fast), I wondered what I would do if it decided to climb up my leg and take a bite out of my thigh.
My first instinct was to kick the little sucker. But I quickly realized, I’d get myself in trouble. I imagined the koala flying through the air like a football and smacking against the wall. Then I envisioned myself trying to explain to the koala keepers why one of their beloved koalas was lying broken on the floor. Not wanting to deal with the wrath of the keepers, I changed my tactic.
I ran.
