To some of us, this might sound like common sense, but as I get older and snarkier, I’m finding that people can be downright stupid. So today, I’m going to give those of you starting out in your careers a list of don’ts. Don’ts that I have seen one, yes ONE, technician do. And rest assured this will not be the last list of its kind.
DO NOT ruin your job for your boyfriend/girlfriend. Do not cry to your boss about your dysfunctional relationship. And yes, I mean CRY. We don’t want to see you break down in tears and blubber all over yourself. Especially if you’re a guy! I know I’m not being PC, but seriously grow a set. Be a man. Do not cry to your female boss and think she’s going to feel sorry for you because she’s a female. We’re women! We’re not stupid! We’re probably thinking she’s right in dumping you!
DO NOT get drunk off your ass on a work night and brag to your boss about all the stupid shit you’ve done in your life. We’re old. We’re not impressed by stupidity like your friends are.
DO NOT drive to the nearest town (on a work night), which is twenty miles away on a treacherous road, and get so drunk you pass out in your car--after you’ve thrown up all over it. When you wake up, DO NOT then drive your car back to the trailer. For those of you who don’t know this—driving while you’re obliterated out of your mind is ILLEGAL!
DO NOT then force your boss and coworkers to get you out of bed so you can get your ass to work. I’m not your mother! DO NOT throw up all over the government vehicle! DO NOT brag to your coworkers about what you did! DO NOT look for pity from your boss by telling her you don’t feel well because you got so drunk last night that you’re still drunk then run into the woods and puke your brains out. DO NOT think all of this is cool! DO NOT then realize your mistake then go CRYING, yes crying to your boss and telling her that you’re not a man because you never knew your father! DO NOT then go back to your coworkers and brag to them about how you broke down in tears and gave your boss a sob story about your past that had her eating out of your hand. How many times do I have to say it? WE are not stupid! YOU are!
DO NOT go fishing without a license when you work for the agency that enforces fishing laws AND you drive one of their trucks with the big emblem (covered in your vomit) on the side. For those of you who don’t again understand, fishing without a license is against the law. Fishing without a license when you work for the agency that enforces that law is stupid…and the final straw.
TSWB
No comments:
Post a Comment